An Adult Twist on My Loving Self

Raising children to love and care for themselves, others and the planet has been the focus of My Loving Self and Me for over a year.  Unexpectedly becoming a cancer patient has my focuses in another direction.  When I got past the “Why me?”part of the diagnosis I realized there was so much more to the experience than I ever realized and that surprised me since I have been a volunteer for the American Cancer Society for about 9 years, most of that time focusing on Mission and Advocacy. How could I know so little after all these years?

All experiences through life do come back to perspective and that perspective is based on whether we are coming from our heart or ego.  Perhaps this is a necessary diversion in my writing as all adults need to reflect on the lens through which they view life, especially if they are raising children.  Children cannot bring forth their loving self if they are living in a world of negativity or being treated in a way that is contrary to what is expected of them.

As I write through my personal experiences I intend to give thanks to those who live from their heart and inspire others  readers to come home to their heart.  Although this change in direction was motivated by a cancer diagnosis, it will not be a cancer blog, but one that motivates each adult to live from their heart when it comes to difficulties friends and family members are going through. I encourage readers to leave feedback as all  life lessons are valuable. The role of caregiver is not an easy one. I hope this will support and encourage them as well.  Now I am the patient, but I was a caregiver for my father during his cancer, and my mother through dementia.  The latter was truly difficult. Please join the forum here and participate in this discussion. Thank you.

Earth Angels Among Us

There are “rules” of kindness that were instilled in all of us at an early age, while for some,  love for fellow man, compassion, empathy and care are who they are at the soul level.  I first became aware of the difference years ago while traveling.  A man traveling with his wife, seemed to be having difficulty and neither of them seemed to know what was happening.  Young and unsure myself, I just made sure I walked near them in case assistance was needed.  I started up a conversation with them so as to not be too obvious, but so that I could take his other arm, not held by his wife  giving him more support.  When we arrived at an area where he could sit, I returned to my group and was asked annoyingly, ” You just can’t help yourself, can you?” I pondered that for years.

Although it was seen by my companion as a negative thing (something I didn’t understand at the time), I believe compassion and selflessness is available to everyone.  Some accept it in their heart while others accept “The rules” that seem to say, offering to help is as good as giving.  Others go back and forth from “The rules” to true compassion seamlessly. I think I fall in the latter.

While enduring the effects of chemotherapy, I became aware of several of these Earth Angels who began by searching for a way to assist a friend or family member with a cancer experience.  They created through trial and error, a product to ease a specific discomfort.  Some of hese people then began to create more and made them available to others.  Some found funding and donate the products, and others sell them at cost. My own Earth Angel knits me soft, luxurious hats and always sends them with the words, “If  it doesn’t fit or isn’t to your liking, pass it on.” Another of my Angels made herself available to drive me to some of my treatments.  Many offered, saying “Call me if you need me”, but my earth angel called each week and asked what she could do that particular week.  I also discovered that “Call me if you need me”, something I too have offered in the past, is not the offering of the gift I thought it was.  Putting the needy person in a position to call friends until one was available is more inconvenient than I ever realized. Experience. I also realized that with the length of many  treatments, one card, gift, visit etc., are not sufficient to assist in raising spirits.  I have an Earth Angel that sends out inspiriational cards weekly to many people. Now I realize what a wonderful gift that is.  Consistent texts or messages provide a connection that is valuable.

I don’t think Earth Angels see themselves as such. They are being themselves, living from their heart, but they tremendously impact those around them.  In gratitude to Earth Angels who have assisted you during a difficult time, please take just a minute or 2 to explain what someone did for you or a loved one that was a true gift of the heart that made a difference.  A generalization of the kindness may be included in a future blog, “Gratefully Acknowledging Gifts From the Heart”. Their creativity may inspire many others.

You can leave your messages here or email them to me at cbethhoffman@outlook.com.