Yes, Virginia There Are Adult Bullies

Yes, Virginia there are adult bullies

Have you ever been targeted by the best person on earth? It is a strange situation because they are so enamored by everyone else that you begin to believe them as well. I have recently been reminded of a time I was the recipient of kind, loving constructivism that didn’t feel comfortable. I questioned myself, my actions, and not until later when discussing my self-doubt with a professional did it become clear to me, that it boiled down to intent, and only one of us could claim good intentions. Although my intentions were not self-serving, I readily believed in the failures being presented to me. They came to me, my mind accepted them as truth, and my self-talk played them over and over like a song played on a loop.

Self-talk is present all the time. We listen to it off and on all day long, sometimes well into the night, preventing down time for sleep. We are not always consciously aware of what our mind is repeating, but we do feel it. It is important to bring those thoughts- that self-talk to the front and give it attention. You may find out you are not as kind as you think you are. Don’t hide it, change it! Perhaps your thoughts make you feel hypocritical. Good! You now can address it before others realize it too. Then again the self-talk can belittle you, criticize you, and diminish your spirit, creating a lack of self-worth. Is that what you want to tell yourself? It doesn’t matter where those thoughts originated. It matters that they became your thoughts and through self-talk, you hear them over and over, believing them every time. By critically listening to your self-talk, you can recognize what is unreal and detrimental. You can stop being your own worst enemy, and create a shield that hurtful intentions can’t penetrate.

I have written about children and bullying, a topic that strikes a direct blow to my heart but now realize that there are vicious egotistical adults as well. Children are not the only ones that are victims. Although when adults are bullied, the attack is on their inner child as well. There are adults out there hiding behind fake kindness, religion and even service that are not heart based in their actions. Childhood bullies grown up have had many years of practice. If you are heart centered, they see an easy target.

It was recommended to me to ask my guardian angels for help. I know, some of you are thinking I did that when I was a kid, but I am grown up now. Well, your angels have been waiting for a long time for a signal from you that you want assistance. I asked for help and the answer seemed to make sense, exactly what I would think. That was because they were my thoughts. I stayed quiet for a while longer and waited. When it no longer sounded like me, I knew it was a message from my angels. I also recognized immediately it was a much better idea than I came up with on my own. It was not based in ego. Archangel Raguel can be called on to mediate conflicts and bring harmony to relationships as well. Free will blocks so many from angelic assistance. God created these spiritual supporters before humanity so we would never be alone. Give gratitude for them in your life and ask for help; whether you know what you need or not, they do.

There are different types of bullies, some “in your face” and some that hide it behind their goodness. I have read about standing up to them as the only way to stop it, but it my case, I know if I had, I would have given what was needed- a platform to show off their perfection and my perceived inability. Of course the other person is believed to be the kindest God fearing person on the planet. How could they be wrong in their actions? I chose to rise above it. I didn’t react.   Throughout the time we had to interact, I had professional support and recommend it highly. Being able to talk was immensely helpful because as I mentioned before no one would have believed me. Also, I was amazed at how easily I had believed the criticism. The professional suggestions were invaluable. In some cases people can walk away from bullies, but workplace bullying and similar other situations limit the options. Seek help.

Hold tightly to your self-esteem. Focus on their needs and their weaknesses as the cause of the conflict. Perhaps you can assist them with their needs without them attacking you. First and foremost, refuse to be diminished in your own eyes. Yes, listen to your self-talk. If your intentions are good, hold fast. If your intentions are from ego, self-serving, in any way diminishing others, then take the advice, even if it was judgmental in the presentation. Accept it as a gift if it returns you to your path. Accept self-talk as your inner barometer to peace.

Find Your Inner Child. Let them Keep Theirs.

 

Finding your inner child is useful in personal growth and empowerment. The part many of us are missing is a connection with spontaneity, freedom of spirit, and pure joy at discovering new things. I recently saw a news shot of a business which offers to adults a chance to be in pre-school! They can lighten up and reduce stress by playing, creating, coloring, singing and very importantly laughing. We all benefit from feeling joy!

shared from : kineticforgiveness.blogspot.com

shared from : kineticforgiveness.blogspot.com

Reconnecting to the joyful child you once were is beneficial if as a child you felt pushed to be something you were not ready to be or was not you at all. If over time it created a somber you, unable to let loose and have fun when the situation calls for it, your inner child may be in hiding. Your inner child may also have been bombarded with limiting beliefs or left to question self- worth. Whether or not you feel a need to rediscover or heal him or her, is up to you. But it presents the question, “Am I doing the same thing to my child?”

Children do need encouragement and support to grow and move past fear, but too often it isn’t their choice but what parents want them to do, or because “everybody is doing it”.   Pushing kids to do what is expected of them by comparison to other kids, standards of schools, what you did as a kid, what your parents expect, puts a lot of pressure on your children, as it did to you. Too often it doesn’t help them grow but diminishes the sense of self, increasing a feeling of lack, increase a feeling there is something wrong with them. Isn’t that how previous generations lost their inner child?

As I write about My Loving Self and Me I am reminded, that the True Self, the Loving Self can be diminished by siblings, other children in school or the neighborhood, and parents. The book speaks to the child, encouraging them to find their Loving Self and live from their heart. But it is necessary to remind adults that they too must do the same thing in interacting with children. Ask yourself as you read, if it is your Loving Self that your children see. Model the way you wish your child to be. Louise Hay in “Love your Inner Child”, encourages people to use the following affirmation to heal their inner child: “I am perfect, whole, and complete, just as I am.inner child The more you repeat this statement of truth about yourself, the quicker you will release the past.” Say it with your children when their self-worth is in jeopardy. Encourage them to expand their horizons with love and communication, listening to their fears and concerns. Keep your Loving Self present as you parent. Let them retain their inner child as they grow into caring, responsibility, and integrity with love.