Is it Possible that you have Limiting Beliefs?

The news this week was full and controversial! The Supreme Court as you know legalized gay/ lesbian marriage, and with it came soooooo many opinions! The president announced that the healthcare act is here to stay. The Confederate flag is coming down in so many places and everyone has an opinion- or 3. The most outstanding part of it all is not so much the actual incidents that occurred but the reactions of people. Oh the comments I read on Facebook and they are my “friends”! What happened to having a belief and listening to someone else’s openly without judgment and criticism? So much name calling and generalization! One meme in particular lined up the 3 happenings above with a comment something to do with “Take that Republicans!” I thought they were individual human and civil rights issues and was surprised to the reference to politics.   So much generalization, assumption and even discrimination!

I used to be staunchly protective and defensive of my beliefs so I get some of it, but I also have learned a valuable lesson that began small and grows every day. That is the concept of Limiting Beliefs.   While learning about this I questioned many of my own beliefs asking myself not so much why I believed that but if in fact I really did. It was surprising how many of the opinions I defended were not mine, but something that was passed down during early childhood.   Who knows for how many generations that belief has been strong, or what the catalyst for that belief was. It may have been valid for that time and that situation, but out of context it makes no sense. And yet the belief continues to grow.

During contemplation, I have also discovered that beliefs can come from ignorance- not having all the facts, becoming emotionally connected to a concept based on someone else’s emotions, or jumping to conclusions. Whatever the inception of the belief, it is a personal one for which everyone should be responsible.

I avoid general online areas that allow for comments like after videos or stills that come up with a specific topic because most of the time I find it distressing. So many comments have no other intent than to diminish the validity of other human beings. Name calling and jokes is a painful and unnecessary part of growing up, and yet it is alive and well throughout the internet sites presumably posted by adults. Everybody has an opinion and it is the right one. Sadly it is part of their belief that being right somehow gives them the right to ridicule and reduce the self worth of others.

I recommend self-analysis of beliefs. It is cathartic and freeing in that it allows you to discover the true you of your heart unencumbered by hidden influences. The beliefs with which you find a deep resonance are yours but not necessarily anyone else’s. Be OK with that. It doesn’t diminish the validity of your belief. You are good without anyone else’s agreement. There are too many proverbial bandwagons and they are all standing room only. You don’t need to wait in line to jump on. Know yourself and be true to yourself.

It is time to find a place where the greater good of Americans is the focus in all our hearts. I almost wrote, “It is time to get back to ……”   but then questioned whether we have had a period of time where it was truly about the greater good. Even today many fortify their opinion by saying, “The American people want”, or “It is for the American people”. We sure like to hear that their plan is for “We the People”!   Is it? Are they coming from their hearts or their egos? Am I? Are you? Whether for ourselves, our families, our communities or country, isn’t it time to come from our hearts? Analyzing our beliefs helps us determine if we are doing that.

Alike on the Inside

 

There are moments when I regret some of the teaching strategies that were used in the seventies in reading. As I look back I remember a lot of emphasis on compare and contrast, finding same and different, and although there is a component of importance I often wonder if it has also played a role in the comparisons people make with each other.

About 30 years ago, a moment in time that taught me a huge lesson about myself, I was walking out of McDonald’s with my 4 year old. In front of us was a mixed race couple with their young daughter. My daughter blurts out, “Mommy look!” and points at their child. Embarrassed, I shushed her, then leaned down and told her to be quiet and hurried her to the car. By the time we got there she was in tears. “Mommy”, she cried. “Why wouldn’t you look at that little girl’s Miss Piggy glass?”

I was shocked at myself. I noticed the different colors of the family members, 10360543_1398844150439652_6293205814907425549_nand worried because my daughter was drawing attention to them. My four year old noticed another little girl like her, who loved Miss Piggy.

Isn’t there too little of seeing the likenesses we share? After all, isn’t that how we choose with whom we spend our time? Or do we choose who we don’t want around because of their differences? There is so much negative energy everywhere! Children see it in facial expressions, and hear it in words. They pick up on sarcasm, and jokes and soon believe it is OK to react that way. They may try it themselves and be sternly corrected, but they don’t get the mixed message. There is always a conflict for kids when they are told one thing but something else is demonstrated when adults think they are not watching. They learn from watching and copying. tsa-usa.org

In the chapter titled God’s Specially Wrapped Gifts in My Loving Self and Me, I wrote about differences of all kinds and explained that God wraps us all differently so that we can tell each other apart, because unlike Him we don’t recognize us by our Loving Selves. In the story Gram tells the children, “God wants us to look at each other with the same excitement we feel whenever we receive presents. And we need to look for the present inside!” Our souls, true selves, authentic selves, higher selves, our loving selves, whatever you call it, have no skin color, hair color, eye color, height, weight, or anything else to be compared. Inside is love energy, in each one. Sometimes it is hard to find while with others it is right there for all to see and enjoy.

I read on PBS Parents, in a section called Inclusive communities several articles on this topic. One titled “The Power of Words”, wrote about “people first language” when speaking- a boy with red hair, the girl that uses a wheelchttps://mylovingselfandme.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.php#titledivhair. The race, color, disability are secondary. In this article and another “Respecting Differences: Everyday Ways to Teach Children About Respect” the focus is on teaching kids to respect themselves and everyone else. My Loving Self and Me does too.

There are far more likenesses within us than differences. The likenesses are what connect us in oneness and yet too often there is disconnect, because the differences are the focus. Respect people as people first- all the descriptions are secondary. Children are born seeing the likenesses. They don’t need to be taught that differences are anything but a way for us to tell each other apart.