I Didn’t Know What To Do!

Facilitating learning of many aspects of life is in a parent’s hands whether they choose for it to be or not. Some know exactly how they want their kids to be and others feel ill equipped for the responsibility. With the many influences available for children, preparing them, and not overprotecting them can be daunting. Having practice in a myriad of possibilities helps them and you, be more comfortable and less fearful of what they may encounter. Most of those situations with which you want them to be able to deal, you hope they will never encounter. Preparing them becomes a dilemma.

reading tween dadEach story in My Loving Self and Me, has a problem and a solution that works for the book’s characters with supportive parents and grandparents with strong spiritual background. It provides other children the opportunity to see that issues they have are shared by others. However the solutions in fiction aren’t always what works in reality, so after each story, there are open ended questions or activities for the reader to try out. This is best done with a parent or other responsible adult or in a family setting. Where solutions and possibilities work in my mind, they may not in someone else’s life. As a parent, you know best what the outcome might be in your community and school and guide them in ways that are more personal for your child. During the discussions you also have the opportunity to listen to situations that have arisen in the social life of your child, affording you insight into their private world outside of your home.   Issues may come up that are not included in My Loving Self and Me that you may never have known about had the discussions not been taking place with your child. Follow your heart in guiding and assuring them.

reading familyMy greatest joy as a new writer is for My Loving Self and Me to be a family book for facing difficult issues head on, the go to book for adults and older school age children to enjoy quite time while they read together, a source of inspiration for the pre-teens who are feeling alone, and a how to for parents of young children not yet ready for the stories. As one mother told me, my child is too young for the stories, but not too young to begin learning that he has a loving self. She added that she is already asking him what his loving self would do.

Books and e books can be purchased here on this website from Balboa Press, Amazon.com, or Barnes and noble. I would love to hear from my readers concerning difficult issues their children have faced that should be written about. Who knows? They may be the inspiration for another book.



Technology or Nature? Can Kids Find a Healthy Balance?

Technologically connected kids are everywhere! Last night a commercial for one of the travel booking agency was on TV and the man was so distraught over having to leave the gorgeous island of his vacation, that he dove off the shuttle boat and swam back, hugging the surprised man upon arrival. His wife sat on the shuttle looking dumbfounded. Now here is the unfortunate sign of the times. The two children were sitting there near their mother on the boat wearing headphones playing on their electronics.

A child close to my heart yesterday was in the car for the 4 minute drive from my house to his and was bored and couldn’t wait to get home to his ipod having just used the ipad at my house. It was a withdrawal that wasn’t dispelled by our discussion of gratitude, the beauty around us and the designs the clouds made. It was a four minute ride! * This is hard for me to digest as a former technology teacher.

Earning a Certificate of Instructional Computing in the 90s before there was a degree, it was my heart felt responsibility to bring to all children the tool that was the computer. In the beginning it was educational games like Oregon Trail, and then the use of Basic to create artistic pictures, and later as the internet grew to research, recognize quality sources and record them, and create reports, slideshows, and brochures of their finished product. They did it in class once or twice a week. At recess they played outside. I had envisioned computer use growing and improving, but did not see it being replaced by the handhelds.   Many would argue the opposite, but sometimes I don’t see them as tools anymore. Sure most can do what a computer can do and do some things better, but too often for some children they are an avoidance of human interaction. Are children losing social skills because they are not socializing with anything but their electronics and in a setting where there is no feedback?

Menas Kafatos, blogged an interesting and alarming article in the Huffington Post that stated from the journal ‘Pediatrics’, that kids on average spend 30 minutes a week outside and spend more time with some form of technology than they do in school. He said that children not only have a disconnect with people but also nature. He went on to say “our brain is genetically wired to thrive when gazing at the sunset, hearing the sound of wind through trees, or feeling the warm touch of the sun on our skin.” Are children failing to thrive physically, emotionally and spiritually for lack of connection with Nature?

Science is now legitimatizing the deep connection that all living beings have with nature that spiritual leaders have contended for years. While the brain needs nature to flourish, I believe the heart needs to connect as well and that children need time outdoors to investigate, enjoy and just be one with nature. For me, meditation almost always begins with a vision of me being near water. I know others who connect with trees and rocks. Notice that those visions are all with nature?

A study at the University of Illinois showed that ADHD children without their medication that spent 20 minutes a day walking in a park like setting, did better on tests in the areas of concentration, focus and achievement than when they were on medication. Interesting…

As I sit here on my computer blogging, checking Twitter, Facebook and email, I certainly give credit for the value of technology as a tool. I couldn’t live without it. But balance in life in all areas is needed by us all, especially our children. Let them stimulate their brain and connect with their God within in the peace and beauty of nature.

*update- about 4 days after writing the blog, we took a ride to the next town over. Again he was bored. This time I ignored him and shortly he was singing to himself! Sometimes they just have to be bored to find their own creativity.




Find Your Inner Child. Let them Keep Theirs.


Finding your inner child is useful in personal growth and empowerment. The part many of us are missing is a connection with spontaneity, freedom of spirit, and pure joy at discovering new things. I recently saw a news shot of a business which offers to adults a chance to be in pre-school! They can lighten up and reduce stress by playing, creating, coloring, singing and very importantly laughing. We all benefit from feeling joy!

shared from : kineticforgiveness.blogspot.com

shared from : kineticforgiveness.blogspot.com

Reconnecting to the joyful child you once were is beneficial if as a child you felt pushed to be something you were not ready to be or was not you at all. If over time it created a somber you, unable to let loose and have fun when the situation calls for it, your inner child may be in hiding. Your inner child may also have been bombarded with limiting beliefs or left to question self- worth. Whether or not you feel a need to rediscover or heal him or her, is up to you. But it presents the question, “Am I doing the same thing to my child?”

Children do need encouragement and support to grow and move past fear, but too often it isn’t their choice but what parents want them to do, or because “everybody is doing it”.   Pushing kids to do what is expected of them by comparison to other kids, standards of schools, what you did as a kid, what your parents expect, puts a lot of pressure on your children, as it did to you. Too often it doesn’t help them grow but diminishes the sense of self, increasing a feeling of lack, increase a feeling there is something wrong with them. Isn’t that how previous generations lost their inner child?

As I write about My Loving Self and Me I am reminded, that the True Self, the Loving Self can be diminished by siblings, other children in school or the neighborhood, and parents. The book speaks to the child, encouraging them to find their Loving Self and live from their heart. But it is necessary to remind adults that they too must do the same thing in interacting with children. Ask yourself as you read, if it is your Loving Self that your children see. Model the way you wish your child to be. Louise Hay in “Love your Inner Child”, encourages people to use the following affirmation to heal their inner child: “I am perfect, whole, and complete, just as I am.inner child The more you repeat this statement of truth about yourself, the quicker you will release the past.” Say it with your children when their self-worth is in jeopardy. Encourage them to expand their horizons with love and communication, listening to their fears and concerns. Keep your Loving Self present as you parent. Let them retain their inner child as they grow into caring, responsibility, and integrity with love.