Fear is so debilitating and yet right around the corner for many. The first real genuine pain in my chest fear I remember was of Captain Hook. I remember “watching” Peter Pan from behind the couch in complete fear. I don’t remember being afraid of the dark, but of being alone. At night I did not like being by myself in the bedroom and often wished I had a sister to share the room with me.
I can’t recall how I handled fears with my children as it seems to have escaped my memory. However, I noticed with my grandchildren the many warnings they got from their father who would have been more comfortable wrapping them in bubble wrap to keep them safe. Then I caught myself doing the same, as well as their mother so that, “Be careful” was a common warning. So perhaps it is a good assumption that I was a protective mother.
The question in my mind, watching grandchildren go through fears, has been whether it is natural or do we as adults create it in our protectiveness? According to Consistent-parenting-advice.com, “Over protective parents create continuous situations from which their children struggle to escape, until eventually there is no escape as the fears have become part of the patterned response for their child’s way of thinking.”
Almost everyone has worries and fears that hold them back and perhaps those of adults came from their childhood too. The first step is to recognize them. Since finding my spirituality the thought that reduces the fear is that I am where I am meant to be, experiencing what I am supposed to experience, and that God my creator is in control. Although that is perhaps a bit to convey to children, the next step is much easier. I visualize angels surrounding me and keeping me safe. That part, and talking to their guardian angels, kids accept more easily. Although they tell me they do it all the time, my grandchildren love when I call on the angels on their behalf. Knowing they are not alone, but surrounded by supportive, loving angels, helps many of us, young and old alike leave fears behind.
Fears become so much a part of life that it becomes easy to disregard what has been given up. It limits our experiences socially, emotionally, physically and psychologically without realization. It is easier to not be interested than to admit that it is fear based. In helping children deal with challenges, adults need to focus on the fact that childhood is cumulative experiences leading to maturity and adulthood. Consistent-parenting-advice.com suggests the best way to do that is to become a “submarine parent” “remain out of sight, yet able to pop up in the case of an emergency.”
“In order to become responsible, confident, assertive, independent adults, children need opportunities to explore their environment both physically and emotionally without continuous interference from their parents.”
Adults that are around children, whether their own or someone else’s can use that time, to consider their own fears and evaluate what they are giving up in “feeding them”. What opportunities have been let go by unrecognized fear? What opportunities can become available again once that is understood? Experience new things daily by taking on your fears and passing that on to those around you!